But this one goes to 11

I listen to all types of music but I tend to lean more towards the harder edge stuff most of the time. You can't really pigeonhole metal music like you could in say the late 80's or early 90's. You knew metal when you heard it. The Metallica's, the Megadeth's, etc. that was metal then.

Today there are so many sound crossing genres, that strictly saying something is "heavy metal" doesn't really have the same meaning to me personally anymore. It's just has a harder sound for lack of a better description or maybe just call it "metal". Call it alternative metal, nu-metal, whatever I don't care. It's music (although you are entitled to your opinion as am I.) Britney Spears? Sorry, not music. More so computer generated noise with a pretty face attached (although I could be stretching it with the pretty face part.)

I digress. Here is some new music coming out sometime in the Spring from two of my favorite bands; Sevendust and Deftones. I also recommend the new Fear Factory album and the latest from Mastodon that came out late last year.

Another "metal" band that came out in the early 90's was Pantera. They set the standard. They were well ahead of any band in that genre and were doing things that most couldn't fathom....I found this video of music students from Highland Heights, KY doing a cover of Cemetery Gates by Pantera. This is what kids should be doing dammit.


In case you were wondering, here is the original by Pantera.

Other bangin' entities:

- Saw these guys in concert last year. Easily top three of concerts I've ever been to.

- The reunion of Faith No More catapults Day 2 of Coachella.

- Festival season is looking solid with the exception of Lollapalooza (I'd rather stick my dick in a meat grinder than listen to Lady Gaga and Green Day.) Will I get to go to any? No. I'm not made of money and the money tree I had in the backyard was dug up by the dog who also decided to snack on it....But still looking solid none the less. My big 3: Coachella, Bonnaroo, and Rock on the Range.

- The first chimpanzee to appear on Intervention?

- I've got nothing for this, sorry. It's that exceptional.

- Sign me up!

- Remember the days when Saved by the Bell had it's own world premiere prime time special? Ah, the world was so much simpler then.

Don't fuck with Betty.

This winter has just been brutal.

I hope having to deal with this is not in my future.

\w/

Just put some 'tussin on it!

As I continue to pound Robitussin as if it has been spiked with Blue Moon, let me share with you some random thoughts about the Olympics I've seen so far:

*Shani Davis is the Usain Bolt of the Winter Olympics.

*Shaun White is one badass mother, and I hope McDonald's starts selling Double McTwist's soon....with the option to add bacon.

*Apolo Ohno's hair looks magnificent.

*Out of all the events, Ski Jumping looks like the best candidate for me to shit my pants in the air twice over if I was a participant.

*I'd like to see less Lindsey Vonn and more Julia Mancuso.

*All the bitching in the world isn't going to change the fact that you rock an awful Russian mullet, Mr.Plushenko.

*Curling looks like my kind of sport. Is there a rule that prohibits me from holding a Red Stripe Jamaican Lager in my left hand while sliding the stone with my right? No? Perfect. See ya in Russia for the 2014 games.

*I'd rather watch Alton Brown on the Food Network than sit through a Bob Costas interview.

*My knees ache when watching any Moguls skiing.

*You can bet your ass if Derek Smalls of Spinal Tap had to wear those tight Olympic uniforms this would be a no-brainer.

==============================================

Bang on these while I do another shot of 'tussin...

- Ladies and gentleman, Cleveland is your most miserable city.  (Sam Wyche is somewhere yelling.)

- The Olympic Village is turning into Boogie Nights.

- This woman from Idaho is probably thinking, "Wow, that was quick."

- People still have a hard time not posting incriminating pictures on Facebook.

- I'm convinced Tiger Woods is a robot. And I agree with this guy.

- Today's "dodging-huge-pot-holes-on-the-highway-due-to-snow-plows-should-be-an-Olympic-sport" JAM.

- My buddy downloaded this app and after a week his dog owns two of the top ten rated pictures on it (in his words, this is "unheard of."). He says there are over 4000 dogs listed on this app. I refuse to get this app and pump his votes because it would cost me $.99 which could very well be used for a 3 Musketeers bar instead. So there. The more you know, right?

Pretty sure this will be the last thing this guy ever gets invited to.

Fact: small cars dislike snowy hills

Ever feel like an asshole when you are stuck behind a car who can't drive up a snow plowed hill that is still slushy, but you'll be late for work waiting on them to continually squeal tires attempting, so you just wait until they slide down out of the way so you can whiz pass because you have 4WD and it's not your fault they are driving a small Jetta?

Don't. Because you can't really help them get up the hill anyway so why bother. That was my adventure this morning. Albeit a small one, an adventure nonetheless. I'll take it.

Wednesday Humpage:

- Puppy mills are a bigger issue but I don't mind this.

- Would you rather have $29,330.99 or 100 camels? Hmmmm....

- I know it's freezing outside but damn, is there really a need for this? 

- Olympics > Faceslop

==============================================

This is not Play-Doh, son.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

- Here are some of the decade's best rock & roll meltdowns and blowups.

- At least your beers will never get warm!

- This guy could sell the shit outta his ass and make a profit.

- Return to Wally World.

Oh, he's eatin' lobster too!

The E*Trade babies are funny. There is no denying it, shankapotomus. Yeah, it's getting kind of old but I believe they spent $3 million ($3 million!) for a thirty-second spot during the Super Bowl. It was good but this is my probably my favorite from the Super Bowl only because the face slap was so damn righteous.



Nonsensical Nonsense:

- In addition to watching overnight reruns of Roseanne in a Heineken haze, I can now watch more reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond in a Sierra Nevada stupor. Sweet!

- Everytime I would watch the show I would always think, that guy isn't going to make it much longer. What a shame.

This is a bacon chicken Narwhal. A Narwhal is a medium-sized toothed whale that lives year-round in the Arctic in case you were wondering. But this one is better because bacon is involved exclusively. Now all I need is a Sea Otter made out of goetta.

- I want to go to there.

- Not really a surprise since intellectual shows like Jersey Shore and Real World make up primetime and music videos are just sprinkled in during the overnight hours.

- Mother's Day is in May, fellas. But it's never too early to go ahead and pull that switcharoo. (offensive language)

The Winter Olympics start on Friday. I hope these guys show up.



Vinny just about sums up what to do on these shitty winter snow days. I edited this photo on my free Fail Maker app. Yes I am a loser, but what the hell am I supposed to do on these shitty winter snow days?

Boom Roasted! (yeah really)

Doom and gloom approaching

So the White Death Watch 2010 is upon us. Took a trip to Wally World yesterday (not the amusement park, unfortunately) unrelated to the impending weather doom, but because there was literally not a cracker to eat in this house. As we were putting our two carts full of groceries on the belt, the lady behind me asked when the snow was supposed to be here. Maybe based on the small fortress of grocery bags I was loading into the carts as if I was preparing for the last few days of human existence, I knew something she didn't. So I went all Steve Horstmeyer on her ass, told her my computer wasn't working then dropped a seven day forecast.

She replied by saying, "Damn, it's gonna be cold? Shoot. Guess I can't wear my new outfit this weekend."

Sure can't. Unless you purchased a Parka, some tube socks, and thermal underwear, you might have to keep the clubbin' hooker gear in the closet for a little bit longer...I love Wally World.

Weekend Madness:

- These two guys make Vanilla Ice look like 2Pac.

- Your 25 most dangerous neighborhoods. Look who's #1.

- These boobs were made for bombin', and that's just what they'll do.


The future never looked brighter.

The best SlapChop redub out there (offensive language)