Beer binge Wednesday's

Wednesday is actually my Friday so that means I'll be purchasing a six pack of alcohol in the $8-$10 range. (Bud Light can only take you so far.) Maybe have some Sam Adams, or some Leinenkugel, or some Sierra Nevada, or maybe some Guiness. I dunno. I have all day to contemplate and trust me it'll take that long. (For those of you who can't stand it when people call their Friday a different day then an actually Friday, you obviously work M-F with weekends off and have no idea what my people have been through. It is different.) If anyone is down for partying on a Wednesday night like old college days hit me up because if you call on a Friday night, no thanks. I'm in bed by 10pm.

I stayed up for the entire UK game last night (big accomplishment, I know.) Great game all the way through but they are no longer undefeated. South Carolina flat out played better and seemed to want it more in front of their home crowd. That #1 ranking lasted a whopping day and a half. No biggie, hopefully just a bump in the road. They can restart that win streak in the tourney.
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Your Bangin' Hump Day Special (see what I did there?)

Please, just turn it off and forget that ever happened.

- Ladies, we may be disgusting and perverted be we sure as hell aren't stupid. Now get out there and make that paper.

- You stay classy Ohio.

A douchebag chart for your pleasure. Know any of these D-Bags?

- In the market for a space shuttle? Sorry, it's used.

- I have a mixed breed dog. I think he has four or so various breeds in him, not sure. He has for a fact some Charles Manson with a bit of Kujo sprinkled in. Here are some designer mixes to wrap your head around.

- Could you imagine putting some Taco Bell sauce on a Hot Pocket? If you have and are still alive, I salute you. If you decided against it because you have faulty plumbing in your house, good call. Anyway, here's what Taco Bell sauces should say.

Is it too early to start composing my Xmas list?

The Dude abides

Caught some of the SAG awards last night. I usually could care less about awards shows but Sandra Bullock looked great in HD so I took a gander.

Nice to see Jeff Bridges win for best actor in a leading role and beat out some heavyweights in George Clooney and Morgan Freeman. I just wish he would've strolled up on stage to accept wearing a bathrobe and holding a stout white russian.

Doesn't 30 Rock just kick everyone's ass in every awards show or what!? Alec Baldwin must be getting sick of thanking the same people on stage everyday. What a "selfish little pig" he is. Was hoping Larry David would get his due, but of course was snubbed again.....At least Tarantino's cast got some love for Inglorious Basterds.

Glee winning over Modern Family, The Office, 30 Rock, and Curb Your Enthusiasm???? Wow. Plain and simple. WOW.

Betty White is my new favorite old lady. I bet she was quite the cougar back in '56.

Been telling myself, but I really need to check out that Dexter show. Heard only great things about it.

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10 things I rediscovered recently that are bangin'.....
Apple Products
Fresh shower towel
Bud Light
A kid free night out
McDonald's big drinking straw
McDonald's BBQ sauce (I swear they add some kind of crack additive)
The Smashing Pumpkins
My son absolutely loving life
AM side of the radio
My crazy dog, Vinny

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SERENITY NOW!

- Snoop Dogg must be proud.

- The next Evita?

- Well here ya go ladies, enjoy your gigolo.

- Speaking of Mr. Corgan and his mates, here is today's
"driving-in-the-rain-with-bald-tires-can-be-fun" JAM.


yeah really.........

Banker hours anyone?

Yesterday I spent a good portion of my work day looking for jobs. Wait, that sounds weird... Anyway, I used just one website to start off, careerbuilder.com. A pretty vague search ensued. The search consisted of me staying within 20 miles of my home, and a 4 year degree or less (Hey, I'm not above anything).

1,503 jobs, 64 pages resulted.

I went through all of them. Every one. And saved 32 that peaked my interest.

Of the 32, I narrowed down to 5 after considering many factors.

Of the 5, only one was a serious candidate to throw my resume at.

1!

FAIL.

Today is a new day and a new search engine will hopefully yield some different results. I'll keep plugging away no doubt. It's only one search on one website anyway. Hell, George went through the same thing before landing with the Yankees....and my wife does say I make interesting comments during ball games.

Sick is the season

Can anyone tell me when a 5-month old's immune system reaches an acceptable level? Poor guy is back to his congested ways, has a serious cough, and sounds like a pot belly pig snortin' around the mud pit. I know it's the season for sickness especially for little ones, but man I feel sorry for my dude. I commend momma for sacrificing an abundant amount of sleep the last few days trying to get her boy comfy while I was either working or trying to earn a few extra bucks gigging. C'moooooon Spring!

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Nonsense, etc....

- Maybe the NBA should embrace this product also.

- If you want me out of the will just say so dammit!

- The Spoonman cometh back!

- Today's "AM-drive-into-work-with-a-big-fucking-smile-on-my-face" JAM.

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Happy 48th Birthday, Jim Carrey. May you still use Binaca the correct and only way.

Bangin' around the dubya dubya dots

There may be a connection between this classic computer pastime and the recent terror threats in the sky. Just sayin'.

- No shit, say it ain't so! No wonder Jr. couldn't keep up in '98.

- Ahhh, the continuous joys of public stupidity.

- Amen, Jerry. Amen.

- Speaking of Jerry, I'm hoping this turns to gold as with everything else he touches.

 
I applaud the effort from the parents. Still, they need some Beatles in their lives.

I bet the adrenaline rush is like no other.

Technology is the devil

We recently got a Garmin GPS system as a gift. It's a pretty nifty device and will replace the countless number of Mapquest print outs that impaired my driving trying to read while messing with my ipod, and some texting sprinkled in. Maybe I'll try to read a nice novel while on the road as well, we'll see.

But my grandma used to tell me that technology is the devil. And I couldn't help but think of her (RIP) when I was taking the thing out of the box. I would just brush off her old school declarations and say, "Grandma you're such a nut...is that homemade macaroni and cheese done yet?"

But maybe she was onto something and she's probably hoping I don't pull a Michael Scott anytime soon.

Other weekend nonsense:
- Gary Coleman would like you all to protest his penis.

- Remember kids: When shooting heroin, make sure to use the less harmful approach.

- I wonder if she also did this, "for my kids"

Grandma would not be proud.
 - We looked at this baby carriage but thought that maybe the edges were just a tad too sharp. Agree?

"ToFo" Weekend Edition

"ToFo" (toe-foe) is short for top forty, and is a term I use when describing mainstream whatever. Music, movies, celebrity gossip, etc. Anything that is, well, mainstream. Celebrity gossip for instance is so mind numbing and absurd, with countless websites like TMZ and such telling you how many chicks Tiger is bangin' that Tiger can't even keep up. So with blogging being mainstream I thought I would share some ToFo's to wrap your head around. And yes, people writing this shit actually get paid with real money that can be used wherever real money is accepted.

First off we have Susan Boyle. I guess her first album is doing well, I dunno I didn't research it. But the bigger question is if she is is referring to the number of times she's been laid, had a colonoscopy, or farted in the shower? Whatever the reason she sure looks damn proud of it.

Other ToFo's that will make you a better person by knowing:

   - Jessica likes her Chicken of the Sea with a hint of ear wax.

   - I officially have a hankering for a Carl's Jr. salad.

   - Do you think she'll let him keep his perm?

   - There's an app for that.

Now I'm officially numb........

Welcome, 2010!

This year my resolutions include:

-Exercise more
          (don't really see it happening)

-Have more overall patience
          (just not in the cards)

-Drink less coffee
          (but it's so good once it touches the lips)

-Learn how to cook. Something....Anything
          (but the golden arches is right down the road)

I guess that about does it. These will probably all be out the door by sunset but it was fun thinking about them for the moment anyway.

I worked hard this past decade. Two graduations, marriage, home ownership, fatherhood. I think I'm gonna take this decade off and relax a bit. I'll pick things up towards 2020. I might change out of my sweatpants by then but I'm not guaranteeing shit.

So happy new year to you and yours and just be grateful that both of your legs have function, and if they don't, go buy ya a shrimpin' boat and don't look so pissed.