Welcome, this is a Baconhouse

The wifey whipped up some BLT dip this weekend for a gathering we were going to. There's nothing better than coming home from work to the smell and sound of sizzling bacon on the griddle. The dog was equally thrilled, as expected.

The house smelled like bacon all weekend.....My shoes smelled like bacon......The majestic scent creeped into my clothes drawers and caused my underwear to smell like bacon.....The boy's pacifiers smelled like bacon.....

It was bliss.

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"I'm a recovering crackhead, this is my retarded sister that I take care of. I'd like some welfare please." (Dennis, Always Sunny.....)

- I would like to own a Segway. Extreme laziness never looked so fun. Here are 12 things you can do on them.

- The only way I can excel in the kitchen is by being able to use these tools. If not, you can continue to expect bowls of cereal as my main course.

- Here are some TITillating Lamebook updates fo' dat ass.

- Please think twice this Summer before buying your kid, The Oozinator. Just stick with the classic Super Soaker water gun if you''re gonna go that route. Avoid these other unintentionally perverted toys for children as well...Jr. will thank you later.

I just caught (not broke) wind that Jim Carrey has split with the lovely, yet wacko, Jenny McCarthy. This is what happens when rag mags are scattered about at work. He split with Lauren Holly years ago, and now Ms. McCarthy. I'm starting to wonder whether Jimmy boy is playing for the other team. C'mon man!

- 7 future Facebook features.

- Stephen Hawking advises you not to talk to aliens.

- Always judge a book by it's cover.

- Today's classic 90's Rock JAM.

Tell us how you really feel, Dave (or is it Curtis?) 

The best reason to have kids you'll see. I think I'll call this one, The Dreaming Tree.

Bazinga!

The country music awards are on tonight. I admit, I listen to a little bit of country from time to time. It usually make me wanna crack a beer and sit with my dog. Two things I enjoy highly. I also enjoy some eye candy. I'm sure she'll be on the show tonight. 
Her name is Carrie.

- Spring is upon us, so here are 5 seasonal beers to try while listening to such country music.

- Hope everyone got their taxes in on time. Uncle Sam has sympathy for no one. Especially the 5 people you know that cheat on them.

- A ninja or Chuck Norris would've had no problems escaping this.

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Demotivational Posters never get old in my book. 

Here are 44 more that are actually funny.

- So Jesus was hung in other ways as well?

- Here are 25 very cool sporting cathedrals at night.

- It isn't Gatorade, but full of nutrients just the same. Maybe even less sugary.

I used to ride to school back in the day with a friend of mine who would bump Insane Clown Posse every morning. He had some serious sub-woofer action in the trunk of his Ford Taurus. Yes, a Ford Taurus and yes we were badass, thanks for asking. The Taurus was fully capable of handling the amount of low frequency decibels we were dishing out. However, I did not know that they were fans of the same household smelly good shit that my Mother uses.....

- I never understood the whole, install a neon light under your car to light up the road fascination.

- Here's your dumb ass of the day.

- I'm assuming this wasn't on an oval track?

- This chick decides to pop off some malt liquor she had in her purse after being arrested for DUI, in the back of a police cruiser. Video #2 really shows just how good her stealth mode was.

- Today's I-never-took-the-time-to-look-up-what-the-guy-is-actually-saying-but-I-still-love-the-song JAM.

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Recession proof.

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This redneck would like you to know that he knows his rights!

Art Vandelay is alive and well

My father and I just took chainsaws to the deck on the back of my house yesterday in preparation for a new one. He's the architect, I'm the tool pusher. And I like it that way. Since he has a solid background and years of experience in drafting he has concocted a massive party platform deck that is sure to be submitted to some deck building magazine you see at Lowe's or Home Depot. I'm figgin' sure of it.

I may post some pictures because I know you are sitting on the edge of your seat in anticipation. The hardest part is to remember not to take the scotch tape off the key hole and accidentally let the dog out in the morning. That 7ft. fall would just ruin his coat I know it.

Oh, and thanks for getting Yeah Really to over 500 hits since it's creamy birth on 1/1/10. And a hat tip to myself for taking a day off work to click the site 487 times. How'd I do it? Hydration and loose clothing was key.

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"When you look annoyed all the time, people think that you're busy." (George - Seinfeld)

- Maybe he should have just went with platform shoes instead.

- This is exactly what attracted me to my wife 10 years ago.

- Damn Israeli's and their popcorn prices. Are there not more pressing issues over there?

This dog was apparently promised a 52" plasma, not that p.o.s.....Here are some other confused animals.

- The glorified larger iPhone is out, the iPad. It seems to be selling well, like it wouldn't? Now you can customize it with your own decal. Some are lame, some are so-so. You decide.

- Here are the 5 most socially awkward situations. I suspect #5 hits home for pretty much everyone. It has to.

- Two dozen women march topless in Portland without incident. (Side thought: I wonder what the housing market is like in Portland?)

Captain Janks strikes again!

Now this chick, who had something like 10 cosmetic surgeries in one day, says she can't hug people or jog as a result. Personally, it's a great excuse to be lazy, out of shape, and somewhat anti-social.

MLB opening day was on Monday. This is Michelle Damon, who is married to Johnny Damon, who plays for the Detroit Tigers. See what I did there? 

- Turning Saddam's kingdom into a tourist attraction - Like Disneyland without Mickey or the fun.

- I didn't think this kind of thing happened in real life.
 
- Today's, it-should-be-a-crime-to-be-on-the-highway-at-4:00am-going-to-work JAM.

With a name like Laird, the only thing to do in life is to own 35ft. plus waves.