The other "football"

There are two major sports that I don't and have never followed: Soccer and Hockey. In my house as a kid it was all about the NFL and MLB. More so, the NFL. Maybe it was because we actually had local professional teams of those sports to root for and I as fan felt that connection? Yes, yes I believe so. This was etched into my brain ever since I was able to comprehend that David Klingler was the worst quarterback I've ever seen. Actually, even earlier than that; Super Bowl XXIII was especially brutal to watch at the end. That hurt. It hurt real bad.

I guess in retrospect maybe I should have started following a different sport. Or at least a different team. Sheesh.

Anyhow, I know one hardcore NHL fan and he is from Connecticut. Thus, reaffirming my belief that all hockey fans are from Jersey or the UConn (that's my very creative original name for that state). And I only know two hardcore FIFA fans. One of them is a guitarist I play with who is from Honduras. Thus, reaffirming my belief that all Hondurans are genetically predisposed to like/love/play soccer. Uncle Taco is one of the coolest dudes out there by the way.

So, with the World Cup approaching which starts June 11th in South Africa, I've decided to see what all the fuss is about and maybe, ya know, watch a game or two. Plus, their fans seem to clean up really well.

 **********************************************

WORLD CUP LINK MADNESS:

- We have to start somewhere right? Here's the Official Website of the FIFA World Cup.

- Actually, maybe we should have just started here.

- Well, this is a no-brainer. I mean c'mon, it only happens every four years. You're telling me you didn't sit back and pound beers and eat chili-cheese dip in preparation for the Lysacek v. Plushenko showdown during the Winter Olympics? No?

- These 2010 World Cup odds came out in December '09. I didn't find a better list and have no idea if they have been updated since Santa came. So there you go. 

- Advertising for the 2010 World Cup.

**********************************************

I LEARN ABOUT THINGS FROM YOUTUBE: 

I learned how to headbutt my opponent.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

I learned that Erin Andrews isn't the only one who gets harassed.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

I learned that goalies get owned on a regular basis.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

I learned that this kid should probably have used a smaller, less inflatable ball.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

And I learned that this guy should pay more attention when eating ice cream.

We'll end with this...Play ball!

I think "sweltering" is the appropiate term

It's hot as balls outside. Cool down with the latest bangin' bits. (Did I just write that garbage?)

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Payback's a bitch...As illustrated by a bull horn upinya.

- Here are 8 health foods that are actually bad for your health.

- Facebook driving FAIL.

- Teacher of the Year? I especially like the use of SpongeBob party hats for making the cone shape of the hoods.

************************************************

Breaking a car window has never looked easier.

- I love it when we make predictions 10 million years in advance.

- Whatever happened to "shoot to kill"?

Bacon dropped into my Miller High Life is kinda like a lime dropped into my Dos Equis or Corona; but with fat.

************************************************

- Behind the numbers for last week's Pac-Man on Google.

- This story reminds me of the pure angst and frustration that Newman must have felt being a postal worker in NYC. Oh do tell........

Summertime Travels: "You OK back there, honey? Oh, it's a little stuffy?

Today's, when-two-excellent-singers-from-different-bands-share-the-same-stage-then-due-an-epic-song-together-I-get-"excited" JAM.

Bangin' into syndication

The Big Bang Theory has become one of my favorite shows, and is a rightful owner of a spot on my DVR series record list. Deservedly so, the chemistry of the cast and the great writing makes this show stand out among the other drab sitcoms. (I still don't know how in the hell Charlie Sheen can pocket $2 million per episode for the very suck-ass Two and a Half Men).

I know I'm a few days late with this news but Big Bang just won big time in the world of syndication with TBS paying over $1.5M for the rights and Fox also ponying up another $500K. The deal is said to be a record breaking haul.

TBS looks to be the go to cable network for hit shows that reach syndication. Shows such as The Office, Family Guy, Seinfeld, and Everybody Loves Raymond all have deals with the network. Now with Conan O'Brien bringing his late night talk show to the 11pm lineup in November, TBS will be clogging up more of my DVR space.

It also doesn't hurt to have the terrific Kaley Cuoco gracing us with her presence.

Even though Sheldon gets most of the character accolades, Wolowitz is the true game changer.

Three gifts that keep on giving

I don't see patrons like this at the Hofbrauhaus I go to. 

- I don't pay for apps, you can usually download very good ones for free. I stumbled upon this one this morning. (And no, I didn't download it. I have some couth.)

- Beetlejuice was on TV the other day, so I did want anyone else would do, dropped everything and sat my ass on the couch to watch it. I forgot how skinny Alec Baldwin was in that flick. Here's 10 of the best SNL skits that feature said skinny bastard.

When I cut the ribbon that signifies the grand opening of our new deck, hopefully this guy will be setting up his sound system in the corner....I will find him, and I will hire him.

- The Preakness was yesterday but I didn't watch and I don't know who won. But I do know that people get all kinds of drunk in the infield at these horse races. So that led me to believe that there would be pictures on the internet of these people getting all kinds of drunk. And I was correct.....

- I'm a Gene Simmons fan for the most part, and he might be telling the truth regarding these allegations. But in my opinion, no matter what kind of "suit of armor" he's wearing, Gene will find a way to grind on any woman.

Quack, quack.

 ****************************************************

Not having an inner monologue is something I also suffer from.

- RHCP will record a new album but without John Frusciante, which bothers me. But since Rick Rubin is still producing their albums I'll hold judgement for now.

- Finally, something my 9-month old can saddle up and ride instead of the family dog.

- Today's, John-Frusciante-pisses-me-off-because-he-can't-stay-needle-clean-and-continue-to-play-guitar-for-one-of-the-best-bands-the-last-20-years- JAM

A little encouragement for you aspiring students out there.

Here's to conception

My mom will tell me to quit drinking Red Bull because it's "not good for you." Then turn around and cook me a pound of bacon. She's the best. Happy Mom's Day, mom!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  

Happy Mother's Day to all you mom's out there. You deserve it.....

- Hot Sauce Planet is a new website I have added to the link roll. The creator of the site has visited this blog at least once. To get your link added that's all you really have to do. I don't ask for much. Be sure to check it out!

- Speaking of hot sauce.....

- Jim Brockmire > Marty Brennaman 

- More sexual pressure for Men? Guys, if you don't starting pleasing your women more, expect to get stabbed.

- Local TV has always had horrible commercials. Here's 8 of the worst.

- A Mother's Day JAM.

If Men wrote Mothers' Day cards. More over here.

What exercise balls were really intended for.

Sofia Vergara is a mommy. She's also stars in one of the best new comedy shows on television, Modern Family. Watch the show.

Cinco De Drunko

Cinco De Mayo is not Mexico's Independence Day. It's actually commemorates the Mexican army's unlikely victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862.

Well isn't that special? Either way, people get highly intoxicated on beer or liquor (Tequila anyone?) and shit themselves stupid from hot sauce. And no, I couldn't be more stereotypical. To me, it comes down to Jose Cuervo and some Dave's Insanity Sauce.

Shots of Jose Cuervo screwed me in college and caused me (yes, he had that type of power over me) to also add Crown Royal shots to the mix. Then bash some cake I found in a friend's fridge like I hadn't eaten in five days. Then be helped to my dorm room by my future wife and a friend. Thanks, Dean. Then wake up the next morning wondering why my back was hurting like a bitch, only to be told that I fell on a parking stump in the parking lot. I was mostly drunk the whole next day.......I said goodbye to Jose after that night forever.

Tonight I will just cut my grass and day dream about those fond memories. Then have a beer. 

So enjoy some hot sauce and tequila. No not Tila Tequila; her disgusting-ness factor has been off the charts for a while now.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

This overly dressed lady looks like she is showing you how to go about partying on Cinco De Mayo. I don't know honestly, I posted this without turning on the speakers.

Big Johnson shirts were huge in the 90's. But still relevant for this post.

You might not think so, but it's a serious problem to have.

Hot Sauce of the Day:

I don't believe these guys are doing this to celebrate that battle in 1862, but it does involve some Taco Bell hot sauce. Which is just as potent as Ass Blaster.

Doctor says I need a backiotomy

The concrete work for the new deck is complete. One 13hr day....48, 80lb. bags used....Thank goodness that shit is done! Absolutely imperative to get that part completed before the rain came. Now, we're moving on to setting the posts and well on our way to drinking cold frothy beverages upon it. Stay tuned.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

"I don't want to be hostile and I don't want to be dismal, but I don't want to rot in an apathetic existence."  
(Tool, Intolerance)

- Michael Scott could be clocking out for the last time?

- My dog tries to hump both females and males. That doesn't mean I'm going to go out and buy him a Perez Hilton bejeweled collar. Ignorance at it's finest.

- Seeing Phish Live in 3D while trippin' acid is always a hell of a lot better than seeing Phish Live in 2D while trippin' shrooms. Just sayin'.

- I've come to the conclusion that bad hair + too much leather + token family members with no skills = more awesome television.

- Today's, my-yard-was-already-a mud-pit-but-now-we've-added-some-runover-concrete-for-character JAM.

One again another Hollywood starlet gets dumped. We've got serious 'tofo' problems as a society when Halle Berry can't keep a man. My buddy, the north star, is getting highly aggravated.

The renaming of Soy Milk is complete. Thanks to all for sending in your requests, but the winner comes from the Fox 5 news team. (Drum roll please........)

``````````````````````````````````````````````````

Postage WIN.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````

Did you know there is a Cadbury Icecream Land theme park? So there's one "holy shit!" response right there. And for your second "holy shit!" response, there's this:

``````````````````````````````````````````````````

So you call yourself a big game hunter? Well, maybe you do.....Not that there's anything wrong with that.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````
Quan Cosby knocking somebody's head off to help make way for Jordan Shipley. I wish Chad would do this more often.